Monday, 7 November 2011

Radical orchiectomy for dummies

Once I had caught my breath, I went back to my room and did a bit of research of my own. I Googled 'testicular cancer' and went from there.

I re-visited Dr Regmi at the Norvic Hospital the following morning to hear his suggestions of how to proceed. He wanted to slice my groin open, pull my balls up through my body and onto my abdomen, cut one off, and shove the remaining one back in again. This was to be done with an anaesthetic to the spine which would temporarily paralyse me from the waist down. I would be conscious throughout. As he talked, the blood drained from my face.

His continued interest in Facebook distracted him from my questions about the operation. I was in genuine fear for my life. Eventually I lost my cool and demanded that he log-out of Facebook.  He re-focused and explained the operation by Googling testicular cancer, and then printed off the 9 pages of Wikipedia I had been reading the previous night. To our utter astonishment, this document was for his further reading rather than ours.

Dr Regmi then began to quiz me about the health service back home and the price of a return ticket. He was trying to decide a suitable price point for my operation. It was time to leave Nepal.

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