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| "Is that all you got, George ... is that all you got?" Ali taunts Foreman, 'rumble in the jungle' 1974 |
After each round I get a short time to rest in my corner and regain my strength. I replace lost fluids and nutrients. I nod sweatily at the instructions of coach Mo, and get re-motivated by the cheers of my fans. And I get patched up by my wonderful medics. Razor-slitting a boxer's purple puffed eye fixes one problem but creates another - making him vulnerable to a match-finishing cut. Chemo patch-ups have serious side-effects too.
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| Some days I'm up ... |
In some rounds I've been too weak to raise my gloves to defend myself. I've been battered senseless, and my legs have buckled. I've hit the canvas, gum shield out, blinking slowly, honestly hoping that someone would throw in the towel. I've daydreamed about giving up, and just biding my time with a cold beer and mountain views until the grim reaper arrives. A natural fade-out has often seemed a nobler alternative to this relentless pharmaceutical pummelling. If I'm resilient and having such thoughts, my heart goes out to patients who are less fortunate.
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| ... and some days I'm really down |
Sometimes the treatment between rounds is harder - especially on the mind - than the actual chemotherapy. Last night I had a splitting headache, an agonising right ear drum, pain down the right side of my neck and across my swollen shoulder, and a worrying shortness of breath. Dr Wong's on a well-earned holiday, so I met her stand-in Dr Hsieh. He suspected thrombosis in a vein near my catheter.
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| Ghandi: "the man with 4 aces doesn't ask for another hand" ... my hand was so bad, I wanted to throw it down and head off to the bar. |
My O Level in Biology led me to predict imminent brain damage and/or a heart attack. I went quiet and Moniek shed a few tears. The doctor assured us it's treatable and not life-threatening. I was given a clot-dissolving injection, and prescribed 2 additional jabs per day for the next 6 weeks. Oh joy.
Don't despair. My gumshield is back in, water has been poured on my bald head, and I'm determined to go the distance whatever it takes. The Magill shuffle is a little slower than the Ali shuffle, but at least I'm mobile. The plan is to treat the clot again tomorrow, and go ahead with Round 14 (B-chemo) on Thursday. Let's hope there are no more nasty surprises before then.
We're long overdue for a great song. Here's a classic about not giving up (from an equally bald guy): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjepiv9vqKc ... the lyrics are just below the video.
I think Muhammed Ali says it perfectly - "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
ReplyDelete"there are no pleasures in any fight but some of my fights have been a pleasure to win" - another Ali quote. Best wishes Rick.
ReplyDeleteAfter the recent sad demise of a heavyweight great, Smokin' Joe, a point well made by Frazier was that great fighters are defined by those they beat. Ali knew this & it made him the legend he still is. You have the beating of Chorio, thus propelling you into the category of a champion.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't like what you see in the mirror, don't look for a while, take a break & come back when the strength returns and your fighting spirit is back up to 11 on the dial. Knowing you, this will only take a wee while.
PS I'm highly impressed that you can remember anything from O Level Biology. I can still vividly remember the 'smiling face' peering up at me from the page showing the full twig & berries set! ...& those maggots never stood a chance.
So glad you labelled the picture showing Ghandi, for a moment I thought "flipping eck this chemo lark is ageing him rapidly!"
ReplyDeleteYou have to pick your fights in life, and this one is worth fighting. Why? Well firstly because Rick, you CAN win it.
Secondly because you have an angel who lives on earth as your girlfriend
Thirdly because you have support, healing wishes and prayers coming at you from all round the globe
And fourthly because Elaine is offering you free Guinness at her wedding
You might be a physical wreck but from reading your blog it is obvious that you haven't lost your mental faculties.This chemo seems to be a delicate balance between killing chorio and killing Rick.So far the specialists have kept on the right side of that fuzzy line.For sure Dr Wong and Dr Jimmy won't throw in the towel from your corner!
ReplyDeleteSeconds out....ding ding.
Maybe it's me but I am convinced that you have done an edit since I posted a comment. Gum shield back in, that's my boy!
ReplyDeleteWhile you are relaxing with the chemo plan another bike ride up to Mustang.
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! "
ReplyDeleteRocky Balboa
Who'd have thought Sylvester could come up with that one....
Hugh, I too noted the re-edit, inc. the photos. Pleased to hear that Rick is up at at it again.
ReplyDeleteRick, I've still got a couple of gum shields from my rugby days if you need to borrow one (recommend putting them through a rinse cycle first though to get the claret off).
Hope round 14 is fast & furious with Chorio on the ropes & a unanimous points score for the 'Rickmansworth Rumbler'. There for the taking in the next round.
Can't think of any appropriate quotes (only inappropriate ones as usual), but glad to hear you're handling it so well. After all, it's not the first time you've been beaten around the ring (snigger).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I reckon we should plan another adventure for when you feel better. After all, this is the man who told my mother, on the eve of our 3 week adventure to America, that our entire plan consisted of 'Getting off the plane, we go for a beer, and then take it from there.' The ideal travelling companion (my mother didn't sleep for 3 weeks).
Hey Rick
ReplyDeleteboxing is the best metaphor for life, we all take a beating (physically and mentally)in our lives, what matters most is how we deal with it. It appears to me that you are facing it head on and dealing with it the best way you can. No one can ask or expect more from you. Like Ali you have a fighters chance, no one gave him a chance against Foreman but he took the punches and came back strongest at the end. He beat Foreman and you can beat this, you have a fighter's heart and that's what counts. Good luck and best wishes.
Hey you! Give yourself a break of course you will have good days and bad days...everyone does! But what really matters is that you do keep picking yourself up and dusting yourself down!
ReplyDelete"Attitude is a little something that makes a BIG difference" Winston Churchill
Keep at it, you will be King of the Mountain again just like Lance xxxx
Rick,
ReplyDeleteNice to know you are handling it well-TRUE GRIT!!
We are all here praying for your speedy recovery!!Let me know if I can be of any help??